Phase 1
6-8 weeks before
Confirm host + co-hosts
EssentialMaid of honour, bridesmaids, or mother of the bride traditionally hosts. Clarify who is leading and who is supporting.
Set the budget
Essential$30-$50 AUD per guest is standard for kitchen tea — venue (often a home), food, drinks, decor, simple favours.
Pick a date with the bride
Essential4-6 weeks before the wedding. Saturday afternoon is most common. Avoid the bride's busiest weekend.
Agree on the guest list
Essential15-25 women is typical. Mum, future mother-in-law, aunts, sisters, bridesmaids, close friends. Everyone must also be invited to the wedding.
Decide on theme
ImportantHigh tea, garden party, brunch, Country Women's Association style afternoon tea, retro 1950s. Theme drives food + decor.
Phase 2
3-5 weeks before
Send invitations
EssentialDigital is fine but printed feels nicer for a kitchen-tea. Include the kitchenware angle: "the bride is registered at... " or "she loves ceramic, cast iron, and natural materials". Helps guests pick gifts.
Decide on gift convention
ImportantTraditional: kitchen + homewares. Modern: registry, cash, or charity donation. Tell guests in the invitation so they know.
Plan the menu
ImportantClassic AU kitchen tea: scones with jam + cream, finger sandwiches, lamingtons or sponge, mini pavlovas, fruit platter, tea + bubbles. Self-catered or restaurant.
Book the venue
EssentialHome, hired tea room, restaurant high tea package, or function space. Home is most traditional and cheapest.
Phase 3
1-2 weeks before
Chase RSVPs
EssentialLock final headcount for catering 1 week out.
Order decor
ImportantPastel florals, vintage china, fairy lights, simple bunting. Less is more.
Plan kitchen-themed games
Nice to haveRecipe cards (each guest writes their best recipe + tip for the bride), "guess the spice" game, cooking trivia, kitchen pictionary. Keep it light.
Coordinate gift logistics
ImportantBig or fragile gifts (mixers, glassware) need a plan to transport home. Designate a bridesmaid driver.
Phase 4
Day of the kitchen tea
Set up 60 minutes early
EssentialTea station, food platters, decor, music. Have a drink in hand by the time guests arrive.
Welcome + drinks
ImportantTea, bubbles, sparkling water. Light music. 20-30 minutes of arrival + chatter.
Afternoon tea served
ImportantSit-down or grazing — both work. 60-90 minutes.
Games + recipe-card collection
Nice to haveGuests fill in their recipe card for the bride's new kitchen. Run 2-3 games.
Gift opening
ImportantBride opens gifts in a circle. Bridesmaid takes notes for thank-you cards.
Cake + farewell
ImportantCut the cake (often a special small wedding-style cake). Group photo. Wind down.
Frequently asked questions.
In Australia, "kitchen tea" historically focused on kitchen and homewares gifts to help set up the new household. "Bridal shower" is the broader US-influenced term that covers any gift type. Modern kitchen teas accept any gifts and the terms are mostly interchangeable now — but kitchen tea still implies the traditional daytime, all-female, tea-and-scone format.
Ivory Lane Editorial
The Ivory Lane editorial team covers wedding planning, budgeting, and vendor advice for couples worldwide. Our guides are reviewed regularly to reflect current pricing and industry practice.